The Tributes are Announced

As I am standing in the gathering place, my heart pumps extremely fast. This is the day I have been dreading my entire life. I stand, quivering, on the soft green grass. It makes me think of happier times, the times I have heard about only in books, when our world was unified and peaceful. I didn’t notice, but my hands are clasped together so tightly that they are bright red and terribly sweaty. I refuse to lift my head because I know that if I do it will cause me to break down. I wait in silence as an acquaintance of mine’s name is called. I start to shake even more when we near my district, number three.

I come to realization that Harper Hayes is about to announce the tributes from district three. I look up hesitantly and watch her long fingers slowly reach into the large bowl of names. she wraps her fingers around two slips of paper and lets one fall back into the bowl. Your name is only in the bowl once, I reassure myself, you wont be picked. I don’t realize that Harper Hayes has called my name until I can feel everyone’s wandering eyes land on me. I start to panic as if I was on fire, but I can’t move. My throat is so tight as if a snake is wrapped around my neck. I can’t talk, I can’t move. I finally take a deep breath as everyone grows impatient. I find the courage to take the dreadful steps toward the stage. I stand there next to my fellow district three tribute, in front of my friends and family. My knees become weak and I know I won’t be able to stand this much longer. After what feels like forever, we leave the stage. It is hard to breathe, so I sound like a fish out of water; gasping for air to survive. There is no way to escape this now. The tributes have been announced.

 

 

 

4 Comments on The Tributes are Announced

  1. 4mollie
    May 15, 2014 at 5:44 pm (10 years ago)

    This was so great and descriptive. The sensory was so clear that I felt like I was there, sitting on the green grass. Although, there were a few typos that could have been easily fixed if it was read over. My favorite sentence would have to be when you were comparing yourself to a fish out of water. Overall, this was very good!

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  2. 4rebecca
    May 15, 2014 at 5:50 pm (10 years ago)

    I liked your attention getter, it made me want to read. I also liked your use of figurative language because it let me visualize what it would really be like. there were a few grammar errors such as capitalization.

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  3. 4connor
    May 15, 2014 at 10:57 pm (10 years ago)

    Wow…that was fantastic. You had great sensory details, you used just the right amount of figurative language, and you had stellar word choices. It was great throughout the whole piece. There were no weak spots. The whole thing was amazing. I especially liked how you ended the piece. I thought it was a great way to show how fearful you really were. The only bad thing I could think of was that you had a couple errors with capitalization at the beginning of sentences, but that’s a minor issue. You nailed this assignment.

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  4. 4alyssaf
    May 16, 2014 at 10:05 am (10 years ago)

    Some of your narrative was confusing, like in the first paragraph when you said that you dreaded it but then you said it made you think of happy times. The sensory details are okay in the first paragraph and then great in the second. I especially like the similie with the snake.

    Reply

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